It’s true, the world we live in can be difficult to navigate. Anxiety can become an unwelcomed companion on the journey.
A gnawing sense of fear and dread can consume your thoughts and paralyze your actions.
But perhaps the most challenging aspect of anxiety is the fear of feeling anxious itself.
“Meta-anxiety”, anxiety about anxiety, can trap you in a vicious cycle.
The Good News: By understanding causes and learning practical strategies, you can absolutely take your power back from fear, dread and anxiety.
Why, why, why… must I feel this way?
Anxiety is a natural human response to stress, danger, uncertainty, or unfamiliar situations. But when it becomes chronic or disproportionate it can be debilitating. Fear of feelings, or anxiety about anxiety, stems from a few key factors:
- Misunderstanding Emotions – Most of us grow up thinking that negative emotions are bad and must be avoided at all costs. But this can lead to an inability to cope with anxiety in a healthy way.
- Perceived Loss of Control – Anxiety can make you feel out of control and that can lead to the fear of having that experience again, which leads to a cycle of feeling constantly on edge, anticipating the next wave.
- Past Bad Experiences – If you’ve had traumatic or extremely stressful experiences in the past, you might develop a heightened sensitivity to anxiety, fearing its recurrence.
The Anxiety Malu
“Anxiety” is just a thought and a feeling. It’s an energy rooted in fear and fear takes our power away more effectively than anything else. We give our power away to the feeling of fear and then the thought of fear tells us to be afraid of, and therefore avoid, all feelings that are unpleasant.
From a spiritual perspective, this is the job of the malu of anxiety: to take your power away and subjugate you to its influence, perpetuating a vicious cycle and downward spiral.
These inherent energies of the World of Form are tasked with providing Contrast for the Purpose of Meaning and they do this by giving us thoughts and feelings that are not ours. Once we begin to entertain these thoughts/feelings, they take our power away by getting us to identify with them: “I’m anxious”, “I’m scared”, “This feels horrible”, “I don’t want to feel this way!”, “I’m afraid to feel this way again.”
This can have a profound impact on your life. From limiting your activities to affecting your relationships with others, anxiety will cause you to avoid situations that might trigger it leading to social isolation and missed opportunities.
Plus, the constant fear and anticipation of anxiety can cause stress that affects both your mental and physical health.
Strategies to Stop Being Afraid of Your Feelings
- Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions
The first step in overcoming the fear of your feelings is to acknowledge and accept them. Emotions are natural. Instead of resisting or suppressing them, allow yourself to feel them fully. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel your feelings, whatever they are.
2. Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power so learn about physiological and psychological aspects of anxiety. Learn about the fight-or-flight response, the role of the part of your brain called the amygdala and how anxiety can teach you something about yourself.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is being able to be fully present and engaged with each moment: how does the chair you’re sitting in feel? Are you warm or cold? Can you feel sun on your face?
Be “the observer” of your thoughts and feelings, notice them without judgement.
Deep breathing, meditation and body scanning can also ground you in the present and reduce fear.
4. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns
Identify and challenge negative thoughts that contribute to anxiety. For example, if you fear anxiety will overwhelm you, remind yourself of past experiences where you successfully managed it. CBT, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy can be effective with this.
5. Gradual Exposure
This involves gradually facing your fears in a controlled and systematic way. Start with situations that cause mild anxiety and gradually work your way up to more challenging scenarios. This approach can desensitize you to anxiety triggers and build your confidence.
6. Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Find healthy ways to cope. Physical activities like exercise, yoga and tai chi can release tension and reduce stress. As well, creative outlets like writing, painting, or playing music can provide an emotional release and distract you from anxious thoughts.
7. Seek Support
Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Talking with a therapist, counselor or support group can provide you with valuable insights and coping strategies. Sometimes, just knowing that others share similar experiences can alleviate the fear of your own feelings.
8. Create a Self-Care Routine
Establishing a consistent self-care routine can greatly help with managing stress and anxiety. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet and engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation. Self-care is a necessity for maintaining good mental health.
9. Befriend Anxiety
Anxiety, like all other negative emotions, is a thought/feeling that came into your life at a particular time in your past. A bit of journaling, asking questions of your anxiety, and writing down whatever comes up, can provide you with a depth of understanding about why anxiety came into your life in the first place. It has a message, what is it?
10. Redirect
Identify a negative thought/feeling you’re experiencing and then ask yourself what it’s opposite is. For example, if you are afraid to go to a friend’s party, ask yourself what you would like to feel instead. Acknowledge, “I’m feeling anxious about being around people I don’t know.” Then ask yourself what you would like to feel, “I would like to feel calm, confident and relaxed in the midst of others who may feel exactly the way I do.” Or, “I would like to perceive anxiousness as exhilaration instead.”
Create affirmations to replace the negative thought/feeling with a positive one: “More and more I find myself comfortable in social settings.” “Every day, in every way, I am more relaxed and confident in every situation.” When you work with this technique creatively, you will find words and ideas coming to you and you will feel the power of taking control.
Embrace the Experience of Life!
Feelings are part of the package that come with life here on Planet Earth, so embrace them all! We would never know how wonderful, wonderful is, without horrible and terrible.
Feelings never killed anyone, but they can get you to do that, to yourself and/or others. So, it is very important to understand, acknowledge and address them in healthy, effective ways.
Thoughts and feelings can also be signals that provide information about our needs and environment. By embracing your emotions, you can develop resilience and a deeper understanding of yourself.
Conclusion
The anxiety of anxiety can be a challenging and overwhelming experience, but it’s not insurmountable. By acknowledging and accepting your emotions, educating yourself, practicing mindfulness and developing healthy coping mechanisms, you can break free from the fear of your feelings.
You are not alone. Seek support, practice self-compassion and take small consistent steps towards embracing the colorful spectrum of your emotions. Over time you will find that the fear of anxiety loses its grip, allowing you to live a more fulfilling and authentic life.
And keep in mind a spiritual perspective, that we came here to dance with these energies for a very good reason. Don’t be afraid, play and have fun with the whole ball of wax.
Aloha!